I Wasn't Born to be a Mother

Some women grow up dreaming of having children, becoming a mother, getting married. They have there weddings planned out far before they have met there future husbands.

Not me.

When I was younger, and a teenager, and even in my early twenties, Marriage scared me, the thought of having children wasn't a priority, and I had a very small idea of what i'd want my wedding to look like. 

I have always loved animals, but small children, especially if they were misbehaved didn't really catch my fancy. I wouldn't say that I didn't like children, I just didn't feel connected or all that interested in other peoples children outside of my nieces and nephews, or family members I guess.

Sounds pretty selfish right? So it's been a surprise to me to learn just how much I actually do love children. It started once I had finally hit the "baby hungry" stage of life. I'd never, ever, really wanted a baby before, and it wasn't a possibility, it wasn't something that would have fit into my life plan before I had gotten married. In fact, our first two years of marriage the timing wasn't right for a baby, and we as a couple weren't ready for a baby. A cat yes ( which was part of why we got a cat, to curb some of the baby hunger) but a baby No.

All of this has changed though and I see children through my mothers lens now. I realize how precious they are, I am overwhelmed with joy for these new moms, because of the amount of love they are about to experience.  A love that goes far beyond anything you could ever imagine.

I didn't think I was one of those girls who was born to be a mother, I liked animals more than people most the time, and I enjoyed my freedom, No one could have warned me that I would love being a mom so much.

So to all those new moms, or soon to be moms, I just want you to know, that even if you don't feel overwhelmed with love for your baby while you're pregnant, or even shortly after they are born, it will come and when it does it will fill like you are so full of joy that it's going to burst out of you, you'll want to share with everyone, you'll try to explain it, and others won't understand unless they've had children of their own.

I'm one of those people now who sees the newborn babies, and the pregnancy announcements on my social media accounts, and my heart beams with excitement for these new parents to be.

I wasn't born to be a mother, but once I became a mother I feel like no one could have warned me enough, just how much I would love momming.