Tales from Pensacola: The Neighbors

 We live in a tucked away two complex town home that has a dirt road leading back into a dead end. It’s pretty private, there’s one other unit that we can see from our front room window. Both the town homes have two town homes per unit. So total we have 3 neighbors. We didn't know if we should go and introduce ourselves or not. It’s hard moving to a new place, and meeting new people. The times we'd seen our neighbors they didn't seem interested in chatting with us, so we just exchanged a wave or a hello once in a while when our paths crossed.

That is until one Friday night mark and I were living it up, watching a Netflix marathon of Malcom in the Middle, when there was a knock on our door.

Both of us looked at each other a little surprised. We don't know anyone, so you know... we opened the door with caution.

A collage aged girl stood there, and introduced herself to us, she was one of our neighbors! Mark and I were thrilled to meet her, and to have someone to chat with outside our exciting night of Netflixing.

Rykers bedtime is between 6:30-7:00 pm, we can keep him up later than this, but it usually means we have a grumpy baby on our hands. He likes to go to sleep when he is tired, which makes going out at night a little hard.

The neighbor introduced herself, she lives alone and just wanted to let us know who she was, and to call the cops if her car was not there but her lights were on, even though she has black out curtains so we probably wouldn't know. She also said call the cops if anyone was trying to get in her house without her car being there. 

She then went on to give us the low down on our neighbors, and here is what we have learned so far, and confirmed partially. The two girls whose front door we can see from our front room side window, apparently move stuff in and out of their place all the time. One of the girls fights with her boyfriend loudly, often, and they are always breaking up, which is how she found out that the girls next store are strippers! 

Apparently the one girl’s boyfriend, during one of their fights had yelled “I knew I shouldn't have dated a stripper again!" and the two girls who lived there had also gone on to brag about how much money they'd made at Babes, when it was hoppin the other night. 

The neighbor dishing out the gossip to us said she googled it and found out that Babes was a local strip club in Pensacola that had terrible reviews.

Of course Mark and me were like "no way!"

 We were laughing, like who has strippers for neighbors?! Probably no one in Springville Utah.  Later after we finished talking to the girl who introduced herself to us, we googled Babes, apparently it is a Strip club, with terrible reviews AND there was a stabbing in the parking lot there six months ago! Yikes.

This girl went on to tell us the strippers boyfriend maybe some sort of drug dealer, but she can't be sure, when she said drug dealer, Mark and me were both like

"Oh Shit!"

But then she clarified that it wasn't like hard drugs, but maybe weed or something. She also said that they will still our garbage can and recycling bin to put all their trash in from their wild parties, and could possibly still our parking spot… even though it wasn’t assigned parking.

She had to confront them about stilling her parking spot and garbage can, and now they don't get along very well. Apparently they just don't talk to her, or still her garbage can anymore...

So that's good.

The collage girl who lives on the other side of us is allegedly in a sorority. She has a boyfriend who sleeps over often, and she throws sorority parties every week, and the parties are really loud.... we’ve yet to hear one though…

It was pretty funny, and nice to have another adult to talk to. This Neighbor was friendly, and we were glad to meet her and find out all the juicy details of our neighbors around us. We also found out that the person living here before us had three cats and two dogs, and I’m thinking they may have smoked, because it smelled like cigarettes for a while, luckily the smell is disappearing.

Mark and I didn't know if we should believe that our neighbors were strippers. Innocent until proven otherwise right? Until the other night, we saw them in their robes, which were open down the front. One wearing booty short under wear that were bright blue, with only a matching bra on, and the other wearing underwear and no bra... I didn't see her, but Mark did. 

I said "How do you know she isn't wearing a bra, they have robes on, and he said because I can see her Nipples through her robe!" So there we have it, strippers for neighbors!

You may be thinking, weren’t you bothered by these scantily clad ladies, and to this I say, no .nothing will ever surprise me as much as the time Mark and me were checking out of our hotel In Las Vegas at the Rumor Boutique and saw a Female Prostitute with her Robe hanging open down the middle, getting ripped off, and yelling her head off as some smug guy ran away from her across the parking lot.

Apparently he stole her Effing Money and she wasn’t happy about it. I wasn’t happy about it either…. Since she had no clothes on whatsoever and was showing off her lady parts. Luckily her boobs were covered, and Mark didn’t see her nakedness… but I did… from the looks of her, I think the guy must have paid top dollar.

So there is the story of how we found out that we have strippers for neighbors, and if we aren't careful, we may just get a show... I guess we will be closing our blinds at night... unfortunately for Lincoln, it's his favorite spot in the house... what a guy. 

As for all the wild parties our neighbors have, and how loud they are, and garbage can stilling, we haven’t seen anything to prove it. They’ve been pretty quiet.

We’ve been grateful for the comic relief, and that is just the first story we have so far about funny things that have happened to us in Pensacola.