The Things we Loved

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Dear Mike,
I'm having a hard time processing that you are gone, I think about you, and this lump just suddenly appears in my throat. I try to swallow it down because I hate to cry, which is silly right?

Death is painful.Death is so final.

 when someone is alive you almost take it for granted, like oh I could make things right with them any day, or I could see them around again and talk to them if I wanted to. When someone dies you can't. You only get a grave if you're lucky, and memories if you're not. You get to pray to them, or talk to them and hope they know how much they were loved.

I loved you and now you are gone, and that is hard for me to grasp, and while I didn't think we would get this kind of news so soon, I had a feeling that if you didn't change your path in life would only be a matter of time. That's another reason it was such a hard thing to hear, because I wanted you to be okay, to get your life in check,

Mark and I honored you yesterday by buying flowers in your favorite team colors. We cooked hamburgers with pablano peppers and spent time outside. we talked about the funny things we remembered and how grateful we were to have known you and loved you.

The things we loved about you will be the things we remember. We will remember your kindness, and willingness to jump up and do anything for anyone. Your ability to stay positive, and live in the moment. Your big dreams and ambitions. your child like disposition, and how easy it was for you to talk to people and make friends.

We will remember you saying "JU-lie..." how you loved animal shows, especially nature channels big cats, and shared the same love of "Cloud Wild stallion of the Rocky Mountains" with me. How you wanted to cut down our own Christmas trees, and ended up covered in snow from head to toe while cutting one down for us. We will remember your love for the vikings, and your passionate opinions, how you drove me to several different doctors offices so I could get the specific birth control I wanted before my wedding, and how it wasn't awkward for some reason. How you loved, and gave of your self.

You left a big impression on us, and impacted our lives in many ways. Now you are free from the trials you faced, and hopefully you see how much you were loved by those you cared for.

Thank you for the oppertunity to love you. You will be missed.

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