24 week update, and a Sentimental Post in One
6 months? how is time going by so fast?!
Update:
Here's a little bit of a sentimental part of this post.It's a little bit sappy. Sorry, not sorry.
A Dose of Honesty, about my Changing Body
It has taken me years to really love myself, and to workout for the right reasons and learn how to eat foods that are nutritious for my body. Before I got pregnant, I felt like I was in a really good place with my self, my workout routine, my nutrition and diet, and I felt ready mentally to accept the changes that a baby will cause to the body I had worked so hard to build, and love.
While my workout habits have been consistent, but not as intense, and my eating has been okay
( always room to improve there, especially after holidays) I find myself feeling a little bit sad and worried about my after baby body. I know im doing something amazing. I appreciate how strong the human body is, the amount of work it does to create life, and the pain it can endure to bring a child into this world is incredible, I know all of that.
Yet I still find myself cringing a little bit at the very real possibility that my scar is not going to stretch well, and my belly will be covered in angry stretch marks. Or the fear that i'll be so exhausted from a newborn that nutrition and exercise will take a back burner.
I'm working really hard on trying to accept what I can't control, and work on what I can ( diet and exercise), and just focus on the blessing it is to be able to have a body strong and healthy enough to grow a baby. I'm very blessed in this way, especially with this being my last semester in school. I couldn't be more grateful for how well this pregnancy has been going.
Reality
I don't think it's hit me yet entirely just how much our lives are going to change once this little boy gets here. I see other people with kids, and Its hard for me to imagine myself as a parent. I hope i'm going to be a good mother. I hope Mark and me can work together as a team to raise him, and figure out our parenting style.
Reflection of last times
something else I've been thinking about recently, is all the last times we will have before this little guy is born. It is going to be the last time we live alone for the next 18 years or more, because he probably won't be an only child, the last time we go on a carefree vacation where we can do whatever we want with no worries. It will be the last time its just us.
I've found myself missing our first little apartment in Provo, I miss walking to Smiths, I miss our little garden, walking to the library and grocery store to rent movies, or going to the Rec center whenever we wanted because it was a block away.
The baby will be a wonderful addition to our family, and we are both really excited to start this next adventure in our marriage, but it's a little sad too. It makes me cherish the things I took for granted. While I don't think I'd go back, I am hoping I can just soak in our little guy while he's a baby, take it all in, because there are certain things that you can't get back, and you won't realize how much you miss them until they are gone.
Sappiness to close this out with, enjoy!
I've realized how incredibly lucky I am to have Mark. people say this all the time about their spouse, but for reals, he is what I want. He is who I need, and i'm beyond blessed. I realize that this year one of my resolutions is going to be working on being a better wife, it's so easy to get complaisant, and become ungrateful for what you have. We will have been married for 3 years in March, and I've experienced more in my life with Mark by my-side, than I have with almost anyone else. He is a voice of reason, when i'm being irrational. He is a healthy body image, when I can't stand to look in the mirror. He is the intellect to my goofy brain. The stable emotion, when i'm falling apart, but also the comforter when something really bad happens. A son to my mom and to my dad. A hiking and workout buddy, that will push me. A hard worker. The favorite uncle, and Lincolns favorite parent, and a dad to our son.
He is my crush. It hit me at his brothers wedding, that if I had been single, I'd be watching him from across the room, if I was 12 he'd be the hot married guy that I had a crush on, and giggled shyly around. But i'm not single, and I was watching him from across the room, admiring how attractive he looks in a suite, how kind he is, and how helpful he is. If I could tell my 12 year old self that our husband was this good looking, and awesome I think she would have been in disbelief, because at that wedding, It dawned on me, just how lucky i am to be there, crushing on my husband. Just like one of the little 12 year old girls serving food was.
There are some big decisions we make in our lives, getting married is one of them. I've been thinking about that lately, and I've just felt so at peace with my decision to marry Mark. There are probably a multitude of people that I could have married, and it would have worked out, but I am happy with the one that I got. Having babies is another life altering decision, and i'm so excited to see how our little person is, what he looks like, his personality, his likes, dislikes etc.
I think i'm on the path i'm supposed to be on, and I've finally come into my own. I don't have everything figured out, but I do know that i'm happy with who I am, more than I have been. I think that comes from being true to yourself. I feel that this year, I will continue to learn about myself, especially as a mom, and learning how to live away from family when we move for graduate school will be a growing experience too i'm sure. We have a lot of new things coming up in our life, and it's nerve racking, but exciting, so there's my little sentimental piece for those who read this post.
If you read this far, that's awesome of you.
Thanks,
Rachelle
Update:
- My bump is growing, it's kind of shocking when I look in the mirror sometimes, like hello belly! the baby has hit a growth spurt during the last part of my 5th month, and it seemed like over the course of two days my belly just popped out. It's kind of fun though to actually look pregnant.
- My placenta is anterior, which means that it's covering the front part of my uterus, so up until two weeks ago I only felt my little guy move once in a while, but since his growth spurt I've felt him everyday.
- The baby kicked so hard that Mark has finally been able to feel him at 22 weeks! The little guy can also make my tummy jump around when he kicks hard. Sometimes his kicks kind of make me jump, it's almost startling if they're hard enough. He also kicks my bladder sometimes, and that's a weird sensation, I don't ever worry that i'll pee my pants ( yet, hopefully that doesn't change) but it definitely feels like I urgently need to pee for a second.
- My limbs fall asleep easier, on that note, a little TMI for you, if I sit for more than an hour ( which I shouldn't do anyway, right?!) blood collects in my nether regions and it's uncomfortable to walk around for a little bit after.
- Sleep is getting harder to enjoy. I think it's a combo between my crappy pillow, and needing a few pillows to wrap my body around. I wake up with an achy lower back, so i'm probably going to cave and invest in a body pillow soon.
- working out. I've been able to continue working out 3-4 times a week, I feel really good so far, besides my back getting a little tired sometimes. I am trying to figure out a good workout routine again, since the new semester of school started. I have a Pilates class twice a week. I think i'm going to try to get at least one run a week too. It's been a struggle to run, and with my belly getting heavier, it's less comfortable too. I also want to keep lifting twice a week, and doing squats.
- Body image .Most days I love my changing figure, but I get sporadic moments of fear that I will gain more than i'm supposed to, even though i'm right on track, or that i'll have a hard time losing the baby weight, or worse, I won't lose it. I also have a somewhat irrational fear of how large my face is getting. I know it sounds funny.
Here's a little bit of a sentimental part of this post.It's a little bit sappy. Sorry, not sorry.
A Dose of Honesty, about my Changing Body
It has taken me years to really love myself, and to workout for the right reasons and learn how to eat foods that are nutritious for my body. Before I got pregnant, I felt like I was in a really good place with my self, my workout routine, my nutrition and diet, and I felt ready mentally to accept the changes that a baby will cause to the body I had worked so hard to build, and love.
While my workout habits have been consistent, but not as intense, and my eating has been okay
( always room to improve there, especially after holidays) I find myself feeling a little bit sad and worried about my after baby body. I know im doing something amazing. I appreciate how strong the human body is, the amount of work it does to create life, and the pain it can endure to bring a child into this world is incredible, I know all of that.
Yet I still find myself cringing a little bit at the very real possibility that my scar is not going to stretch well, and my belly will be covered in angry stretch marks. Or the fear that i'll be so exhausted from a newborn that nutrition and exercise will take a back burner.
I'm working really hard on trying to accept what I can't control, and work on what I can ( diet and exercise), and just focus on the blessing it is to be able to have a body strong and healthy enough to grow a baby. I'm very blessed in this way, especially with this being my last semester in school. I couldn't be more grateful for how well this pregnancy has been going.
Reality
I don't think it's hit me yet entirely just how much our lives are going to change once this little boy gets here. I see other people with kids, and Its hard for me to imagine myself as a parent. I hope i'm going to be a good mother. I hope Mark and me can work together as a team to raise him, and figure out our parenting style.
Reflection of last times
something else I've been thinking about recently, is all the last times we will have before this little guy is born. It is going to be the last time we live alone for the next 18 years or more, because he probably won't be an only child, the last time we go on a carefree vacation where we can do whatever we want with no worries. It will be the last time its just us.
I've found myself missing our first little apartment in Provo, I miss walking to Smiths, I miss our little garden, walking to the library and grocery store to rent movies, or going to the Rec center whenever we wanted because it was a block away.
The baby will be a wonderful addition to our family, and we are both really excited to start this next adventure in our marriage, but it's a little sad too. It makes me cherish the things I took for granted. While I don't think I'd go back, I am hoping I can just soak in our little guy while he's a baby, take it all in, because there are certain things that you can't get back, and you won't realize how much you miss them until they are gone.
Sappiness to close this out with, enjoy!
I've realized how incredibly lucky I am to have Mark. people say this all the time about their spouse, but for reals, he is what I want. He is who I need, and i'm beyond blessed. I realize that this year one of my resolutions is going to be working on being a better wife, it's so easy to get complaisant, and become ungrateful for what you have. We will have been married for 3 years in March, and I've experienced more in my life with Mark by my-side, than I have with almost anyone else. He is a voice of reason, when i'm being irrational. He is a healthy body image, when I can't stand to look in the mirror. He is the intellect to my goofy brain. The stable emotion, when i'm falling apart, but also the comforter when something really bad happens. A son to my mom and to my dad. A hiking and workout buddy, that will push me. A hard worker. The favorite uncle, and Lincolns favorite parent, and a dad to our son.
He is my crush. It hit me at his brothers wedding, that if I had been single, I'd be watching him from across the room, if I was 12 he'd be the hot married guy that I had a crush on, and giggled shyly around. But i'm not single, and I was watching him from across the room, admiring how attractive he looks in a suite, how kind he is, and how helpful he is. If I could tell my 12 year old self that our husband was this good looking, and awesome I think she would have been in disbelief, because at that wedding, It dawned on me, just how lucky i am to be there, crushing on my husband. Just like one of the little 12 year old girls serving food was.
There are some big decisions we make in our lives, getting married is one of them. I've been thinking about that lately, and I've just felt so at peace with my decision to marry Mark. There are probably a multitude of people that I could have married, and it would have worked out, but I am happy with the one that I got. Having babies is another life altering decision, and i'm so excited to see how our little person is, what he looks like, his personality, his likes, dislikes etc.
I think i'm on the path i'm supposed to be on, and I've finally come into my own. I don't have everything figured out, but I do know that i'm happy with who I am, more than I have been. I think that comes from being true to yourself. I feel that this year, I will continue to learn about myself, especially as a mom, and learning how to live away from family when we move for graduate school will be a growing experience too i'm sure. We have a lot of new things coming up in our life, and it's nerve racking, but exciting, so there's my little sentimental piece for those who read this post.
If you read this far, that's awesome of you.
Thanks,
Rachelle
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