26.2 thoughts about my marathon

26.2

a poem recapping how I felt about my Marathon

I can’t explain why I did it

A strong pull

Something to prove

But not to anyone

Other than myself

June seems so long ago
and 4 months wasn't long enough time to train in. 17 miles should never be your longest run, before a race of this size,
but it was on that raining, dark day that i ran 17 that I knew more than ever that God does exist, because me and him had a long talk, as I've done on so many of my long distance runs.

And while I trained

I loved those long runs

Where I felt connected

To nature

To my body, god 

And my cleared mind

Where I remember that I used to love running

A lot more than I do now

After a certain point

The race is paid for

And there’s no backing out

And I am at the starting line, with my best friend to run the hardest race, I've ever done.

The first half goes by fast

Wayyyy to fast

But it’s too late

And by mile 17

I need to walk

Something that I used to never do

Except this isn’t a 13 mile race

This is double that amount

And I’m starting to wonder

At what point will my body decide to give out

And I talk to god

And ask him for help

And I eat a lot of Gu

But not enough water

And it’s hot

And by mile 20 I want to quit

Could I sit down and never stand up again?

It’s a thought that crosses my mind

But I remember my husband and 
family and best friends are waiting at the end

And at mile 23 I’m running slow

But I’m moving still

And I almost cry when another runner gives me words of encouragement
"you can do this, run with me" she says, and the words sting my tired body, and mind. 
my brain responds with a "no you cant do this, what were you thinking?!" 

For some reason mile 24 is a turning point,
 I decide to finish the race strong

And run under 9 minute miles for the last two miles

That finish line was the best sight

And when I crossed 

I couldn’t help myself

I just started to cry

Because I was done

I didn’t collapse

Nothing was broken

And I had made it

Mentally I had made it

And that was almost the hardest part for me.
While I hated the last part of that race, I think about when I'll do my next one.

Because us runners, were a little crazy. You'd have to be right?