Everly Janes Birth Story

 “Although birth is only one day in the life of a woman, it has an imprint on her for the rest of her life”-Justine Caines

Jenny (Left)- Ashley (Right) - I love these women!

 Everly Jane's birth story. It's long, and detailed. I wrote it for me to remember, and for Everly to read one day, with the hope that my experience can help some other mother, like other moms birth stories helped me.

Here Goes... 

Making a deal with the Devil

Our midwife, Jenny, is well known for helping women achieve the type of birth they say they want. There is a joke among the nurses at Baptist hospital that if you tell Jenny you don’t want pain meds, then you better be sure because you’ve “made a deal with the devil". 
It took me a very long time to commit to no pain medication, because I knew no matter how much I begged or pleaded I wouldn’t be getting an epidural. I thought a lot about this… 

 At my 36 or 37-week appointment I brought up my fear of not being able to handle the pain of contractions, and caving in and getting the epidural. My midwife Jenny, reassured me that I could do this. She even said she can't run a marathon, but she can do natural childbirth. She explained from her experience in today's age, you need to commit 100%, and really want it to feel empowered as a women, because when things get hard,you'll take the pain medication. She added, if I tell her I don’t want the epidural she is going to hold me too it. Then I said… yeah, I’ve heard, and she said "did they tell you, you were making a deal with the devil?" which I thought was funny, because yes, yes they had! 

***We took a tour of Baptist at 36 weeks pregnant, and that's when we talked with the nurse. I was shocked when I found out they only had 6 labor and delivery rooms in the hospital! very small,but they reassured me they do birth well, and Jenny is the best at what she does. 

I left that appointment feeling unhappy. I started to wonder what my motivation was. was it fear driven or Did I want to feel empowered? 

 A lot of what I learned from reading was the importance of expressing feelings as part of birth prep (and to encourage dilation!), so even though it was hard for me to do so, I ended up talking with Mark and Ashley about this, and both were so nice to me. We worked through some of the fears I was having ( like feeling traumatized by not being able to get the epidural if I couldn't handle the pain vs. wanting a safety net vs. feeling guilt over even considering an epidural after what happened with Ryker etc...), and I finally was able to commit. I decided, unless medically necessary I would not be getting an epidural.- It boiled down to trusting Ashley to coach me, and help ease contraction pains, and knowing Jenny would let me have an epidural if it was necessary for some reason. This gave me peace of mind.  

 In those last weeks of my pregnancy, as I became more educated on birth (this is when I read “The Birth Partner" and was introduced to Spinning Babies) those fears started to change into positive thoughts about birth, and when I had a fear pop up, I would either talk to Mark, or Ashley OR I would repeat positive mantras I had come up with.  Eventually, once I committed my brain stopped being afraid and started to try to understand and fully accept what I was about to do. Just like how I feel when I commit to a race. I had done all in my power to prepare as much as I could, and I had paid to labor by committing..Eventually I did believe my body was strong and capable of bringing my baby into this world, and I started to look forward to the challenge and the feeling of empowerment everyone talks about, even though I was nervous and a bit apprehensive too still.

The Waiting Game

Those last few weeks are so hard. The excitement, the unknowns of what labor would be like, and the anticipation of labor beginning were starting to make me anxious. The other thing was timing. Marks mom Terri was driving down to help us, and we had family flying in from Utah to help after Terri left. I was anxious because I wanted and needed there help, and anxious because we live so far away from family. I didn't expect to go 8 days past due … 

On the 16^th Terri arrived, which was wonderful because I didn't have to worry about Ryker being taken care of when labor started. Terri had all 5 kids without pain medication, and her last was 9 lbs. 4.oz! Whenever I'd have a fear or doubt pop up, it was nice because I could ask Terri her experience or opinion and it calmed me down. She was just encouraging and excited for me and I’m so glad she stayed with us.

While she was here, I was able to go on some good 3-4-mile walks by myself and get some much needed me time, before I would have another baby. On Saturday the 18^th, I walked 4 miles in a hilly neighborhood near us called the River Gardens. I made sure to power walk/ kind of squat walk up the hills. I had to laugh at myself because I knew it looked funny. 

Looking like i'm carrying a very large, watermelon under my shirt

 

 I came home and used the bathroom I found I had lost part of my mucus plug! I was so excited and hopeful this meant labor would start soon, or within a couple of days like it had with Ryker. I emailed our doula she said this was a good sign of effacement/dilation starting to occur! But then my due date came and went, and nothing happened. 

My anxiety ramped up as my due date came and went. I started to worry about Everly getting stuck behind my pelvic bone, or that maybe labor wasn't starting because her head wasn't in a good position to engage... It was a little bit irrational, but because of my experience with Ryker's birth, this seemed like a legitimate concern/fear, and honestly, I probably had read somewhere this could cause labor to not start.

I told Ashley, and she suggested doing squats, lunges and walking to help encourage babies head to engage more and help with dilation/effacement. She also sent me a link to the Spinning Babies website so I could learn more about how to get the baby into a good position. I loved spinning babies and learned so much. I was so happy she lent me this resource to use, and I practiced the positions and tips I'd learned almost daily, and because I felt like I was doing something to “fix” my problem, it eased my anxiety.

***I really think these moves did help, they at least relieved some tension I felt on my right side and helped loosen up muscles I didn't realize were unbalanced. Spinning Babies was so educational, I would recommend it as a resource to all moms. I learned so much! Plus, the ladies voice is really soothing and calm.

 Being Overdue Sucks

I think it is safe to say by the time you hit your due date, you’re ready to meet your baby. I really thought my due date was between the 21st-25th. I was pretty sure the 25^th of February was the day she would be born. When I woke up, after having had a ton of Braxton Hicks the day before, and some cramps in the night and labor hadn't started I had a total pity party and cried for a while. I was so sure my due date couldn't have been more than 5 days wrong! My logical mind was just like, today is the day! Come on out baby girl!!! 

I decided to do anything (except castor oil) to encourage labor to start. I went on lots of long walks (3-4 miles a day), did squats and lunges throughout the day, tried to relax by taking a bath, listening to meditation scripts etc... I ate large amounts of fresh pineapple (I ate two whole pineapples to myself), drinking pineapple and date shakes (gross), sitting/bouncing on my yoga ball constantly and doing spinning babies techniques. Ashley was really sweet and brought me essential oils labor blend with clary sage and a few other oils in it which had been known to potentially encourage labor to start, and I applied this to certain pressure points then Mark would massage those spots later in the day. We also tried sex... None of it worked.

After talking to Mark and asking Ashley her opinion we decided if we made it to our 41-week appointment on the 28th of February I would get a cervical sweep, if that didn't work we would schedule an Induction for March 1st. The day my mom and sister were flying in.

I really disliked the idea of induction, our birth plan, which was to labor at home wouldn’t happen.  Also, inductions usually cause contractions to be more intense quickly, I wanted labor to be as easy as possible. So there was that too.  At this point, though the stress of not having family help/ and having two toddler boys running around (Van would be sleeping in the living room) would not be a good head space for me to be laboring in. Plus Terri had been with us for two weeks, supporting, helping and waiting for this little lady to come and I really wanted her to be able to meet Everly too!

This is me 41 weeks pregnant. Thats a belly man!- people were starting to ask me everywhere i went when I was due. one guy said, " you look about ready to pop!" and I was like, "yeah about a week ago I was ready!" haha               

Helping Labor Along

We made it to our 41-week appointment and I was disappointed and feeling down. They did a biophysical profile to check her placenta, amniotic fluid and size. The tech estimated Everly weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz., and told us at this stage of gestation weight was accurate within half a pound, usually. I hadn't been measuring ahead or anything, so we all assumed she would be on the smaller side of that (even though I was so big!).

            After the biophysical, we did 20 minutes on the monitor. Jenny came in and told everything looked great and we could decide if we wanted to do an induction, or let the baby go to 41+6. This was not what I wanted to hear and I Started crying, I'm sure I seemed like an anxious mess! I was just so disappointed to have to decide to schedule an induction, It wasn’t rational, but I just really wanted her to get to come on her own. After Jenny left the room Mark and I agreed being induced on the 1^st of March was what would be best for us.  

After monitoring we met with Jenny, and she checked me. I was feeling really disheartened and being negative. I told Mark "Watch her check me and tell me I'm only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced, like that would be just my luck!” That was where I was at mentally. As irrational as it seemed, it felt like maybe I'd be pregnant forever. Also, in my head I was mad. Like why is my baby being so stubborn?! So naturally, I was SO excited to find out I was 3 cm dilated and 60% effaced!

We got the cervical sweep, then we were instructed to go walk for an hour, have sex, and walk for another hour. Jenny also suggested taking evening primrose oil. So we went walking, and then to the store to buy primrose oil. In fact, we ended up walking 5 miles that day! Mark had to go to school, so Terri walked two miles with me later that evening.

I had some spaced-out contractions that were more period cramp style and non-painful, which started on our walk. They were spaced enough I didn’t bother to time them. That night they were waking me up about every thirty minutes to an hour, and I had to focus on breathing exercises that I'd been practicing. A few were painful enough it was hard to lay there through them. I laid there in bed trying to sleep, until around 6 am when I finally was like, okay, suns up! I'm getting up too! I knew if this was labor things would pick up, but I also thought that maybe the cervical sweep would do what it had with Ryker’s labor, and I would still end up getting induced the next morning.

Throughout the day things stayed consistently 20-40 minutes apart. I decided to shower and get ready for the day, just in case this was labor, it was a nice distraction and made me feel pretty. When I had a contraction I would dance, sway or bounce (if I was near my birth ball) to work through them, but none were bad enough I couldn't talk during. I let Ashley know and she said it sounded like early labor and sent words of encouragement. I was completely in denial and expecting nothing to come of this. Mark went to school and once he got home I said we should go on a walk again to see if I could get things moving since I'd heard moving can really help labor progress.

 Active Labor

So Around 4 pm we went walking around the River Gardens Neighborhood. I love this neighborhood and find it to be peaceful, quiet and pretty. Almost immediately I started having more intense contractions coming every 5-7 minutes. I couldn't really walk through them, but they didn't hurt either. I’d be walking, slow down a ton and kind of sway back and forth/waddle. I felt really relaxed and was starting to get excited, that labor maybe starting and picking up for real!

We walked maybe two miles, but then in true southern fashion it started to rain so we were heading back to the car. That’s when I another exciting thing happened, and I knew “okay, labor is starting” I had to go poop bad…  The books I'd read say diarrhea or a big poop can be a sign of labor and TMI, but I'd already had two other poops that day. After we got home, and I went to wipe I had a ton of bloody mucus plug/ bloody show!!  So gross, but finally something was really happening! I texted Ashley, and she said that was a good sign of dilation occurring. This was the best news!

Mark stayed home from work and made us dinner. We got to spend time with Ryker and enjoy our last night as a family of three. We ate dinner at home and talked with Terri and everything felt like it was falling into place. The way I’d envisioned I would labor was happening, just at home in a calm peaceful environment, and contractions would pick up after Ryker was asleep. It was nice. I made sure to keep Ashley updated. *** Cool fact about Ashley is that Jenny knows her and has delivered both her girls, and Jenny referred Ashley to us as a Doula!  They are friends, so Ashley was keeping Jenny updated. Jenny said we needed to time the contractions for an hour, so we did. They were still pretty inconsistent though, coming 7-15 minutes apart.

The intensity changed, and I started to focus more on my breathing while they were happening, and I had to move (I sat and bounced on my exercise ball pretty much the whole remainder of the night) I could still talk through them, but I didn't want to. Someone would be talking to me, and I would just go quiet and everyone would stop talking until the contraction was over.

Around 8:30 or so Ashley came by to see how I was doing, and where I was at mentally- since my lack of communication skills, last time had been a problem. I was happy to see her and in good spirits. We sat around chatting and it was just how I would have wanted to spend my time We talked for an hour or so and decided since things were still pretty spaced out, and I was managing contractions well, we all should try to get some rest. Ashley headed home, and she told me to let her know when to come back. 

We had Terri take this picture of us before Ryker went down for bed, it is the last picture we have as a family of 3, and i'm so glad we have it.

Sleep sounded nice, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep through the contractions. We went to bed around 10, and the contractions came about every 10 minutes or closer. I tried to lay there and work through them, but it was to uncomfortable, so I propped myself up with pillows, but the contractions were painful, and I wasn’t able to work through them very easily. I even swore a few times. Since I wasn’t going to sleep I decided to get up and take a shower. So, finally around 11:30 I just needed to get up and move. I texted Ashley to let her know I felt like the contractions were getting harder to cope with on my own, and that I couldn't sleep through them. I let her know I was going to shower and that after I got out I would probably need her to come over if the shower didn't stop labor, but I would let her know.

While I was in the shower my contractions came closer together and were more powerful. I really had to sway and make sure the hot water was hitting my back and belly, otherwise, they were not manageable by myself.  Hot water felt so amazing. The shower really was amazing pain relief. I stayed in there for about 30 minutes.

When I got out I texted Ashley to come over. I got dressed, woke up Mark and let him know I needed help, so he started to apply counter pressures for me. We weren't exactly sure what we were doing, so having Ashley there to help, and to encourage us was great!

Working Through Contractions

Once Ashley showed up we started to find our groove, and man was I happy to see her! She and Mark were a dream team. They were awesome supports and coaches, and I felt so loved, supported, and capable!  During my contractions at home (which I felt were some of the more powerful ones I had) As soon as I started to feel the contraction I would lean against the wall and have Mark or Ashley apply counter pressures to my lower back/hips.

Ashley coached me on how to make low sounds to help me work through the contractions. I had read about this in Ina Mays Guide, and I found it so helpful. The more the contraction peaked the lower and louder I would moan. Another thing that helped me so much was that Ashley and Mark would moan with me, and match my sounds, it helped me focus in on my breathing. Ashley would remind me to stay limp and loose too.

This is really important during contractions. If you are tense it can make the contraction more painful and less affective, like your fighting your body. Ashley was great because if she noticed I was tense in my upper body, she would simply tell me "limp and loose" which meant relax my arms and shoulders completely. Once the contraction peaked and was coming down, Ashley would say "coming down". Even though I knew the contraction was coming down, mentally hearing this helped me hang in there. Like when someone says you only have a few seconds left of something that's physically hard - I'm thinking of planks or the last mile of a road race. You're like "okay! I've got this, we're almost there!" and then relief.

Once the contraction would end I’d be like "Okay" and we would carry on our conversation again until the next one started. It surprised me and everyone else. In fact, I'm pretty sure Jenny thought I'd be anxious and not dealing well… I had been so anxious about labor starting and a worry wart throughout my pregnancy too. One of the nurses at the hospital said to me “Jenny keeps asking how you’re handling contractions. I told her you're doing great! Is there something I should know?!"

I had to laugh, I told the nurse Jenny probably thought I was an anxious basket case because I had been so anxious about labor starting, and family coming into town and I'm sure she was thinking I wasn't going to be as calm as I was. I can't blame her though. I surprised myself at how calm and relaxed I was. It was exactly what I had wanted/ and tried to envision happening. Trying to take keep positive thoughts and remember (and be constantly reassured -Thank you Ashley!) that everything I was feeling was natural helped me stay calm and relaxed.

I felt that same feeling I get when the gun goes off at the start of the race, and there's no going back. For me, the worst part of any race is the starting line because I feel nervous/anxious/excited to just get to the finish line. Its where I have my doubts too, and I say I can't do this- because of the fear of what I'm about to do, but for some reason when the gun goes off and I start running I feel calm and just like "okay, here we go, I've done all I can do to prepare and come what may". Labor ended up being like this for me, but instead of taking it one mile at a time, with an end goal of the finish line, I just took it one contraction at a time, with an end goal of having a baby… eventually haha

Anyway, back to the story

Labor was going really well, we had our groove, we were working through contractions as they came, and then Ryker woke up. It was around 1:30 am, and I heard him.

***I thought that he woke up because we were being too loud, but I think maybe he woke up because he knew something exciting was about to happen. He was happy and saying momma. He'd never woke up before from noise or woke up randomly in the night happy and Terri said she couldn't hear us. So even though it distracted me and was stressful (not the plan haha) It was also a happy surprise because I got to kiss him one last time before we decided to head off to the hospital. A little blessing for me, from him I guess.

Since Ryker waking up was stressing me some, and Ashley thought I was making good dilation progress we decided to head to the hospital. We grabbed our hospital bags and made our way to the car. on the way to the hospital (a 20-minute drive) I only had one contraction in the car and didn't have another one until we got out of the car.

We got there, checked in and they put us in one of the rooms with a big birthing tub, which I was excited to use, but never did. Their policy is that you have to be on the monitors for 20 minutes out of every hour, so we got hooked up to the monitor. During this time they also decided to place my hep-lock IV, which sucked. I found out I have crazy tiny, and really tough veins. It took them a long time like 30 minutes, to find a good vein, and I got poked 3 times!  By the time I got the IV placed, got monitored and got a cervical check it had been about an hour.

My contractions slowed from being spaced about 5-6 minutes apart to being spaced about 11 minutes apart. I had been an almost 6 when we got there, and when my midwife came a few hours later and checked me again I was only a full 6 cm. Since my progress had kind of stalled (which can happen in labor when there are distractions) our midwife suggested we try nipple stimulation to get some more oxytocin going and help assist labor naturally. I was really sad about this. I felt like my body wasn’t doing what it was supposed to be doing, and it was sooo frustrating.

I also had some fears of needing more interventions, even though Jenny had said if nipple stimulation was working, we would just keep doing that. I didn't want to have to even do nipple stimulation, which was the most natural way to help encourage contractions and get oxytocin going. We did three sets of two minutes of nipple stim with a breast pump, and then a 5-minute break and then a 15-minute break in between sets. During each break I would have a strong contraction. My contractions started to feel different, before they were starting on one side of my back, and coming across it and then around the front, these were starting in the middle of my back and moving out towards my hips, and my tummy was tightening down.

 During these contractions, I remember doing my deep moaning/ breathing, while Ashley applied counter pressures to my knees. I would close my eyes and I guess because of the way the contractions felt, I started to visualize what it felt like to do the last reps of a deadlift. I had that same burning sensation I get when I'm on the last rep of my set during deadlifts. It kind of made me laugh, and I think I may have even said “I feel like I'm doing sets of deadlifts!" but maybe those were thoughts I had in my head.

            After the nipple stim, we walked the halls for an hour to get labor to pick back up again. I actually really liked to be on my feet while laboring. While we were walking I had a few small contractions that I worked through myself, and a couple more intense contractions that Mark and Ashley helped me with. We tried some squatting positions during these, where Mark would support my arms as I faced away from him and I would squat down on his knee… I don't remember much else. That kind of worked, but seemed like hard physical work for Mark- he wasn't complaining, but I just felt it was too much effort on his part, so we tried different things.

Leaning against the wall had worked before, so we tried that, and I guess it must have stopped working or something… again I can't remember, but what I do remember is at some point we did the slow dancing pose, which I loved, and it worked really well. Slow dancing is just like it sounds. I placed my Arms around Mark, went loose and limp, and we swayed while Ashley applied counter pressures to my hips, all while making loud, low noises. I am pretty sure we scared the custodian in the hall …. jk. They work labor and delivery, so I'm sure they're used to it.

During this time of walking the halls for an hour, I felt very discouraged and afraid. A flood of emotions came over me. I was so afraid to start transition and push the baby out. Everything I read/listened to or watched said transition was the hardest part of labor, besides the baby crowning. I knew contractions would come faster, maybe last longer (mine were consistently a minute and a half long the entire time pretty much once I hit active labor) and they would be more intense.

I was also so, so, so sad because Ryker wasn't going to be an only child anymore and I felt like I was robbing him of that. I knew he wouldn't understand why I wasn't home with him. I had never left him alone before overnight, and even though he was safe with his grandmas and aunt I was still sad about it. There were other fears too, like would he know that I still loved him? Was I actually ready to have another baby? Would I love her the same as him? What if I couldn't give both of them my time and I was a bad mom? Was I a bad mom for giving him a sibling so close in age? Should we have waited longer?! How will he adjust? etc. … of course, these weren't all rational, but they were valid still and very real to me at the time.

All of this came out in sobs in the middle of the labor and delivery hall, I'm sure I cried for a good 5 minutes, while Mark just held me and hugged me. He was so great and validated my fears. It wasn't the first or last time I cried either. I felt so supported and loved by Ashley and Mark, and both were comforting me. After this break down we headed back to the room, since it had been an hour, and I needed to be on the monitors.

Once we got back to the room Jenny came in and checked me again. I was sure I hadn't progressed and would need Pitocin, or more nipple stimulation. So I was completely shocked when she told me I was 9 cm with my bag of water bulging, I was so happy I started to cry again!

I was so encouraged. I had gone through transition in the hall while crying, what?! I knew that I could do this, we were so close. We walked a little bit more after this, and the nurses were in awe that I was walking the halls 9 cm dilated! I didn’t realize most women don’t do that.

ready to go walk the halls some more after finding out I was 9cm dilated!- I brought my own hospital gown, because I wanted to feel cute... It made me feel happy and that matters during labor. I also didn't feel exposed or as frumpy.

Eventually, though we went back to the room to do more intermittent monitoring, and once we got into the room we stayed there. I liked how calm, quiet and dark it was. Plus I was also starting to get tired, and I was really hungry, and kind of nauseous. I'm not sure if I was nauseated from transition, or from being hungry. We had actually snuck some snacks in but most were carbs, so next time (if I do this again), I'm bringing some yogurts, and some other types of food, like string cheese, or something. The nurses and Jenny brought me some apple sauces, and crackers for "Mark" but I ate them. I was going to need the calories for pushing soon, and it's seriously stupid not to let laboring mothers eat. That is probably the one thing I hated most about my labor, that and maybe towards the end the distraction from the nurses. For the most part though, we were alone. 

When we first got their Mark filled up the tub, and I thought about getting into the tub, but for some reason, I just didn't want to get into it. I had a fear that I'd get trapped in a contraction in the tub, and the water wouldn't help, and then I'd be wet and have to climb out. It was really weird because I had been so excited about the tub! They say it is nature’s epidural. I think if we have more kids I'll try the tub.

Anyway...

I hadn't felt a great urge to push yet, but that most likely was due to the bag of water still being intact, so Everly's head wasn't applying direct pressure to my cervix. We all thought if it were to break she would be there very shortly. I just wanted it to break on its own and was enjoying the break I was getting in between contractions still.

Jenny had to go to appointments at around 8:00 AM so after she checked me she asked if I wanted her to break my water, and I said no. She left, and I continued to labor on. I started to feel tired physically and was falling asleep while sitting on the bed in between contractions. When I felt one coming on I would jump up and my team would help me through the contraction. They had picked up to every 2-3 minutes and I knew this was a transition. It wasn't unbearable like I had imagined though.

I labored a little bit on the toilet too, laboring on the toilet felt good. As Everly's head was starting to move down more there was more pressure in my lower back, and the toilet allowed for more relief from that. Standing did too, but again I was physically tired at this point, so sitting on the bed with my feet hanging off the side and swaying back and forth was a good resting position for me.I also wrested on the exercise ball some too.

relaxing between contractions.

falling asleep on Mark in between contractions during transition

 Pushing

Around 11:00 AM I had decided I wanted Jenny to break my water, I was ready to be done with this labor, and Ashley felt confident I would dilate fully and start pushing soon after my water broke. Jenny wouldn't be back until noon on her lunch break. I didn't want to wait that long, and at some point, I started talking to Everly. I think I had gone to the state of labor land.

I thought I was talking out loud, but I must have been in a state of delirium talking to her in my head. Either way, we had a chat and I told her it was time to come out, and I needed her to break her water.

The next contraction I had was the worst contraction of my entire labor. It peaked more than once, and when I thought okay, it's going to end soon, it just kept going, and was so intense! I am sure it lasted 3 minutes. The position I had been in, leaning over the bed, wasn't a good position for me and since it's hard to move once the wave starts, I was stuck there. Counter pressures probably did help, but at the time I didn't think so. At the end of the peak we all heard a very loud, "POP!" and my water gushed all over the floor. 

Thank you, baby girl, I was so ready to meet her at this point. After the contraction ended though I just started crying. I was so mad at how intense and painful the contraction had been. I was swearing, and saying "that was not okay!", and "What the HELL!" I also said some other choice words... but I was happy to have her water break on its own and know that she would be there very soon. In fact, from the time my water broke to the time she was born was 1 hour and a half.

I remember asking Ashley, after, while sitting on the toilet, if I would have more contractions like that. She so sweetly, but honestly, told me that unfortunately, I probably would. I remember thinking, and saying, "This is why people get epidurals", and then saying "but I know I'm not getting one, right?!, because none will let me” Normally after a hard contraction I would just say "Okay, I'm Okay" and I was fine, but man this contraction was from hell. luckily for me I didn’t ever have another contraction like that.

After my water broke, I had a few more contractions, and I don’t remember them being very intense, but I do remember saying “I think I'm going to have to push soon" I didn't have the urge yet, but I felt a lot of pressure, and it just was this feeling that something had changed and she was coming.  Jenny was called back to the hospital and got there right around 11:45 AM I think. She checked me, and I was a 9.5, but I had a cervical lip. Honestly, I don’t remember having very many contractions during this time. Maybe my body was resting for a minute before pushing.

The cervical lip was thin, so she decided to try massaging it, while I did some slight practice pushing. I hated that, so I blurted out, "do we have to do this?!" and I was worried that she would do this while I was pushing too because that's what happened with Ryker.

Jenny said "No, go walk for 10 minutes", then she left the room!

I was surprised and actually thought I offended her haha

Like wait, what?!

Really?

Anyway, we didn’t actually walk the halls! I did sway/ move around next to the bed for 10 minutes though.

Jenny came back she and had me squat next to the bed, really deep, through three contractions to get rid of the lip completely. Mark held my hands to support me while I squatted wide stance, and low to the ground while kind of swaying a bit through the contractions. This position was uncomfortable, but I was at the point where I just needed to do what I needed to so I could meet my baby, and be done laboring. By the third contraction I felt the urge to push! And I let out a loud scream with it. I felt good though!  

Jenny had me get onto the bed, and we tried a couple of different positions. She dropped the end of the bed off and attached the squat bar. I held it and squatted during a few pushes. She also had me put one leg up on the squat bar while side lying and push in that position, and then she had me hang my butt off the end of the bed while in a sitting position, and I would grab the squat bar while pushing. Eventually, I was in a position where Mark and Ashley or a nurse? Held my legs while I pushed, and grabbed the squat bar (It seems kind of like a distant memory now!)

This position seemed to be the winner and we started to to have effective pushes, and baby girls head was moving down!  Jenny directed me to "tuck my chin and hold it in" with each contraction. I did 4 sets of pushes counting to 10. In between, I would rest and try to slow pant (on their instructions). After about 3-4 push sets Jenny said she could see the head and that baby girl had hair! Even during pushing things were relaxed. I don't remember feeling pain. In between contractions, we talked about Ryker having hair, and if I had a lot of heartburn- which I did with Everly! So maybe that wives tale is true.

The urge to push felt different than I remembered. It was intense, but not painful. Jenny was continuously applying lube and stretching my perineal area to help me avoid tearing and I didn't even notice, I think that urge to push overrides all other sensations. I was surprised when shortly after seeing Everly’s head, Jenny started to gown up. I asked if Everly was coming already! It was just so different than with Ryker.

After Jenny gowned up I pushed maybe two or three times, I remember at some point grabbing my own legs and for some reason that really helped make my pushes much more effective- Jenny said "Yeah do that! Whatever you're doing is working." The pushing was physically hard work. The next day my arms were really sore!

I couldn’t believe how fast it was happening.  Baby girl was on her way, and I remember thinking while she was crowning, which was easily the hardest/ most uncomfortable part, that the only way out was through. I let out some loud screams, and then was reminded to “tuck my chin and keep it in” I heard Jenny, telling me “push Rachelle, push!”

So I pushed and pushed as hard as I could and even though I felt what was probably considered "the ring of fire" and like my entire bottom area was being torn open, it lasted maybe 30 seconds, and then relief. It was hard. Mentally I was thinking, this is it! She's almost here, and I kept repeating in my head  "the only way out is through, the only way out is through", and I think I yelled "Come On Everly!" but It was probably a thought.

Once her head was out I had relief, and I was excited, because then her shoulders were going to come out and it was over, I had done it!  

The next contraction hit and Jenny coached me to push as hard as I could, but within seconds of me starting to push, she said “We’ve got a shoulder dystocia” and she firmly told me to stop pushing.

From here things happened fast, this entire scenario only lasted about a minute and a half.  I was immediately thrown back onto my bed so that I was laying down. Nurses on both sides of me were holding my legs so my knees were up by my face, and a nurse was applying pressure to my left hip, they coached me to slow my breathing down, and I think I said " I can’t!" and someone was like "you have to, come one you can do this, breathe with me" - It may have been Ashley. I remember asking “where’s my doula?!” Because they had told her to get out of the way, and Mark had one of my hands, and then Ashley came and held my other hand. It was really comforting and helped me stay calm.

Jenny was on the bed applying pressure to my pubic bone, pushing with her body weight. And soon after this, she told me to give a good push and Everly was out! I trusted Jenny, and so did everyone else, and I'm grateful that she knew what to do to get Everly out quickly, and that other more invasive procedures weren't needed to get her out.

Right before I pushed Everly out, I heard Jenny say “My finger! I don’t think it will ever be the same again!” her finger had got stuck between the baby's shoulder and my pelvic bone, and was still sore the next day! Haha. This hadn’t happened to her ever, and she’s been a midwife for 30 years!

 Meeting Everly

With that last push, Everly was here, and I couldn't have been happier. I finally got to meet her. Shortly after she was born she started to cry, a good strong cry and she was placed on my chest. I was so excited I just pulled my hospital gown up right away so she could do skin to skin! I had nothing to hide anyway at that point, and all I wanted was to have her be on my chest and to look at her.   

Jenny is explaining to us the shoulder dystocia, and what had happened. I love this woman and am so sad we wont be seeing her again. 

  

I kissed her head and started singing to her twinkle twinkle little star. This is Rykers bedtime song and thought she would know it and she did! She quieted down and looked up at me. It was a surreal moment I won't ever forget. It felt so healing and redeeming compared to how Ryker's birth had gone. Mark was there looking at her too, and just letting me soak her in. She heard him talking and tried to look for him, and that was really amazing to witness.

Right after she had come out Jenny, all the nurses, Mark and Ashley were all like "Oh my goodness she is a big girl! No wonder she got stuck! And Jenny said “the ultrasound tech lied to me!"  Which made me laugh. Her size was a surprise. She was expecting an 8-8.5lb baby!
Once her umbilical cord stopped pulsing and was limp, Mark got to cut it. Cool side note- Jenny was going to let Mark catch Everly, but because of her shoulder getting stuck that didn’t happen, but how cool would that have been?! Anyway, shortly after the cord was cut, my placenta was delivered- that is a weird feeling. We got to see her placenta and amniotic sac too, it was big and thick, and her cord was nice and long and everything looked healthy. (Yay!)

Within 10-15 minutes of being born Everly was looking for food and latched on right away to nurse. We waited about an hour to measure her, weigh her and do her other baby assessments, she didn't get her first bath for about 12 hours.  Everyone wanted to know how much she weighed and finding out she was 9 lbs. and 5. Oz and nearly 22 inches long was incredible to me. I had no idea she would be that big, and I was proud of myself.

What Happened After 

Due to Everly's size, she had to get her heel pricked multiple times to make sure she didn't have Hyperglycemia or diabetes which she didn't have. I also got asked if I had gestational diabetes or gained an excessive amount. Both were no's, and it was sad she had to get poked so much.

After she was born, I was like okay I'm done feeling things now "Bring me my drugs!" I really just wanted to be done with anything medical/ poking, uterus massages etc… , and even asked Jenny if she had to stitch up my tear- silly because I got a numbing shot and didn't feel it at all, and she was like "yeah I'm going to stitch it up” I’m pretty sure she probably thought I was ridiculous. The tear only ended up being a 2nd degree, and only needed a couple of stitches and for having her shoulders stuck, I will take that!

Once I was done getting stitched up Jenny briefly explained with a shoulder dystocia there is a risk of fracture and possible nerve damage to the brachial plexus, but that if this was the case they would refer us to a physical therapist to get her taken care of. We had the pediatrician look it over, and she didn't think the shoulder was fractured. She did favor that arm some, and it took a bit to heal, but she didn't fuss or cry more than usual because of the arm hurting. Her pediatrician that we go to now has been great about assessing her arm too, and it seems to have healed, she has a small bump there now where the fracture was, but the good news is she doesn't seem to have any nerve damage, and she moves both arms the same now! This is a big relief for Mark and me.

Mark got to take her over to do her newborn assessment, which was right in our room.

We waited a couple of hours until I had eaten, slept a little and gotten transferred to a recovery room to have family come visit.I loved having that time with just our family to bond and enjoy Everly and wrest some after my long labor. Total active labor lasted 22 hours! 

 It was really fun to actually have people come visit us in the hospital and have them be able to hold Everly. That nigh my mom, Jana and Terri came and visited us and brought the little boys with them. Both boys were so wound up, and Ryker had little interest in his sister, but he kept saying “A girl!” a “bae!” and he pointed to her. Mark went home to help with bed time, and to be with Ryker in the morning for breakfast, and Terri came and stayed with me in the hospital which meant a lot to me. She got to soak in some baby loves, before heading back to Arkansas the next day.

 

The next morning Jenny came by our room to check on us, and to explain what had happened with the shoulder dystocia, and she explained in detail the maneuver she had done to get Everly out. We really appreciated her coming in to debrief us and make sure Mark and I were both okay and understood what had happened and what to watch for with a shoulder dystocia.

After Ryker was born the midwives who delivered him never once checked in on us, and no one came in to explain what had happened, besides the pediatrician who just told us why Ryker had to go to the NICU. I have a lot of thoughts about Ryker's birth, and my care providers and maybe I will write about that one day, but let's just say I wouldn't use them again.

The experience we had with Jenny at Baptist Hospital, and using Ashley as our doula was so night and day than what had happened with Ryker, and I needed to have this positive and beautiful experience. It felt so redeeming and healing for me, and was a really bonding experience for Mark and I.

   Later the next day Ryker and Mark came by and something I never want to forget is how Everly reacted to hearing Ryker for the first time. She was looking all over for him and trying to turn her head to follow the sound of his voice. I teared up, it was very sweet.

Going Home

I didn't get to leave as soon as I wanted to, for a couple of reasons, and that was a bummer. The first reason was that a couple hours after birth I developed a fever, which I think is just my bodys reaction to very physically excerting experiences sometimes- like when I hadn't ran very far yet during my marathon training and then pushed myself to do 10 miles, I got a fever after, but I wasn't actually sick. 

         my fever disappeared after getting some food and wrest, but i had to stay until Everlys blood culture came back negative for infection, which took 48 hours from the time of blood draw,so we weren't allowed to leave until 5:30 PM the second day at the hospital.  The second reason was the manuever used to get Everly out had caused my pelvic area/ urethra to swell pretty badly, so I couldn't pee and ended up having to get a catheter put in a couple of hours after having the baby. Boooo to that! I had to be able to  pee on my own before going home, and luckily the next day after they took the catheter out I could! Anyway, our hospital stay was good, but felt really long, although I really appreciated getting a little bit of wrest before going home.

Look at all that hair! 

My beautiful little girl. Coming home day!

Finally we were able to go home, my mom and sister came and picked me up while Mark stayed home with the little boys. I enjoyed spending some time with them before heading home! I was also amazed at how good I felt for only being two days post partum! I felt incredible compared to how I felt after having Ryker, and all of my swelling was very minimal too.

Leaving the hospital! I love this suspicious face she pulls!

After thoughts- Set yourself up for Success- 
             I thought i'd add some of the things I did to prepare ( which I will one day write about) 
One of the biggest ways I set myself up for success was by utilizing resources.This meant books, podcasts,and listening to other women's experiences to get a sense of what normal could look like. I also surrounded myself with supportive people. Mark, our Doula Ashley and our Midwife are incredibly supportive of un-medicated birth and my choice to have this baby in the way I felt safest. I felt incredibly lucky to be surrounded by such a good support team.
              Rykers birth had left me feeling traumatized.  I vowed I would prepare more for my next labor and bring that baby into this world in the safest way I could, with the least amount of medical intervention. So, having an un-medicated vaginal birth was my main goal. A high forceps delivery is illegal here in Florida due to the high malpractice lawsuits. My midwife told me I wouldn't be getting any type of forceps birth, period, which meant if this baby got stuck and I couldn’t get her unstuck the next step would be a C-section.

Before we even got pregnant I made sure to join a Pensacola Moms group on Facebook, so that I could ask for Midwife suggestions.I specifically chose my midwife because she is well known in the Pensacola community as a very low intervention midwife, who allows laboring mothers to labor and deliver there babies how they want, unless there was a medical need to do otherwise.During our hospital tour then nurse said I could labor as I wanted and push as I wanted- but I couldn't deliver in the tub, and I would be man handled out of the tub if I started to push while I was in there! They also routinely do intermittent monitoring, and hep lock IVs as standard procedures, and just let women do there thing. The nurses are known for being really supportive and helping suggest labor positions and applying counter pressures etc.. They are a really low intervention hospital, or at least Jenny is very low intervention. The only time I had an "intervention" was when contractions started to slow down, and Jenny suggested nipple stimulation to get a natural increase in Oxycontin going.

Besides choosing a care provider who supports your birth plan, surrounding yourself with supportive people is a key factor in getting the type of birth you want. My husband Mark was a huge support.  I can’t brag about him enough! He really prepared to be my birth partner. He read books, came to all of my Midwife appointments that he could, met with our doula, and learned/practiced counter pressures and labor positions with me. He also did a lot of listening and helping me work through fears I was having too, and just really took his role as a supporting birth partner seriously. He was excited to help me achieve my goal.

Our Doula Ashley played a huge role! She was supportive, loving, honest, and just such a calming presence for me and Mark. Did I mention how patient she is? I had many fears, and questions before and during labor, and she was so good about answering them, sending encouragement , sympathy, and resources or suggestions for me to try. She is amazing with her counter pressure skills, and all Doula skills! Everyone needs an Ashley at their birth! I'm so grateful Jenny suggested her to us! 

 My labor was long, and both were there working through contractions with me for the entire 22 hours of active labor and pushing. Either by literally supporting my body weight, applying counter pressures, or holding my hand, tickling my back etc… I felt very blessed to be surrounded by a wonderful support team.

I had a lot of support from my family and friends too. It was very encouraging to know so many people believed in me, and were cheering me on.I talked a lot about going unmedicated with Everly, but deep down I doubted my ability to achieve this goal. I decided to do more to prepare for this labor so I could ease my fears surrounding birth, pain, and my past failure with Ryker’s birth. I did all the things I could think of or that I had heard helped other women prepare and one day I will write a post on that! 

Everlys Labor and delivery were nothing short of Amazing, I was on a Oxytocin birth high for weeks after she was born. Everything worked out how I needed it too, and I have never felt more strong in my body as I did after I had her. I came away from the experience feeling at peace with the traumatic experience I had with Ryker. I wish more than anything that i could have done for him what I did for Everly, but I know I can't go back and redo his birth. He is fine and a happy thriving, intelligent, loving boy. i adore him. I just think I needed this experience to help redeem the traumatic things that happened during Rykers birth.


At my six week checkup I was relieved to hear my midwife say she suggests for any future pregnancy's natural methods of induction be started around 35 weeks to help encourage my baby to not go past due, since it seems I do have big babies after all and they like to get stuck. Its nice to feel validated, and I trust Jennys opinion completely. 

I also may have cried when I got to the parking lot realizing I wouldn't ever see this woman again, and feeling so thankful for what she helped me achieve. Ashley too. I loved my birth team.

Thats all i've got folks.

Some day I will get around to writing a post about my birth prep and the resources I used, maybe someone else will benefit from them like I did.